If you are a perfectionist or interact with one on a daily basis, you surely know it's not fun. Watch this insightful video about 3 key problems with being a perfectionist and what you can do about it.
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Are you a perfectionist and how does that make you feel?
Do you live or work with a perfectionist and how do you feel around them?
If you are a perfectionist, how do you perceive the world?
Perfectionism and the word 'perfectionist' itself brings mixed reactions. Some people use it as a badge of honour, praising their commitment and the quality of their own work. Others, recognise that there are potential problems with being a perfectionist.
Let me clarify. Aspiring to do your work to the highest standard you can achieve and supporting the people that you work and live with to fully express their creative gifts is very commendable.
The type of perfectionism that I'm talking about is problematic for 3 key reasons.
Problem #1 - Very high, and often, unrealistic expectations of yourself.
This creates a lot of self-generated pressure. These expectations are very difficult to live up to in real life. You are creating an imaginary scenario of what is possible for you and what you can achieve in your own mind. Then you compare this with reality.
Very often reality doesn't merry to your expectations. This creates the perfect conditions for frustration and dissatisfaction with yourself.
Problem #2 - Conscious or subconscious projection of expectations onto other people.
This makes the people in your life feel a subtle (or not so subtle) sensation of discomfort in your presence. They feel they are not accepted as they are and you have expectations they are failing to fulfil. This prevents them from feeling fully comfortable and relaxed when with you.
Problem #3 - Unrealistic expectations from the 'external' world.
You expect from life to always be going in the direction of serving your own ends. When reality fails to conform, you perceive this as frustrating.
Perfectionism is very different from aspiring to do and be your best. While this aspiration is beneficial and constructive, perfectionism is problematic due to the expectations that it brings.
My invitation to you is to try to let go of your (unrealistic) expectations from yourself, from the people in your life and from the world in general. Pay attention to how this is going to transform your relationship to reality and your peace of mind.
If you haven't already done so, you can consider signing up for my free 'practical mindfulness' online course here.
If this resonates with you and you want to speak with me or work with me, let's have a chat.
Martin Stefanov Petkov
Master your Super Power