Comfort Zone without Boundaries

Let me state this very clearly from the very start. No one but ourselves defines the boundaries of our "comfort zone"; hence, we never have to be outside of it. Resting in this understanding, we can relax and enjoy reading for discomfort's days are numbered.

There are the situations that life offers or subjects us to and there is the degree of comfort that we experience. Furthermore, it is not the situations in and of themselves but only our perceptions that determine how we feel. Additionally, identical situations have profoundly different effect on how different people feel, and even how we feel depending on our mood.
What all experiences termed "out of the comfort zone" have in common? They make us feel or more accurately, we feel uncomfortable while they last. But what is the root of this discomfort? It is resistance.
Resistance takes the form of either:
- Not accepting things as they are - being unwilling to just "let it be" - resisting physical sensations, thoughts, things we need to do, etc.
"Just thinking about speaking in front of people makes me feel sick."
- Clinging to the way things are - being unwilling to "let it go" - grasping people, items, states, etc.
"I cannot imagine living without you." "I cannot live without my smartphone."
Looking at some of its causes already begins to loosen the grip of resistance.

• Familiarity - We tend to cling to what is familiar and fear what is unknown. Whether we accept it or not change is the natural order of things. Learning to ride the waves of impermanence lays the foundations of profound and lasting comfort.
• Limiting Beliefs - "I am no good at ..." or "I'm the type of person who prefers ...", "I just hate it when people ... " are examples of statements which reduce the totality of your being to narrowly-defined positionalities. Your willingness to see these merely as products of mentation would allow you realise this is not your real Self. Being aware of them as they arise in our mind and transcending them allows a state of well-being independent of circumstances.
• Compromised Free Will - "It was awful; I didn't have any choice..." Often, we tend to resist even what is beneficial if we feel it is being imposed on us. By being sensitive to whether we resist the "what" of a circumstance or the "how" it is presented allows us to break the chains of subconscious resistance.
• Conditioning - A lot of the situations that feel uncomfortable or "awkward" in social setting come from conditioning and/or cultural norms. Making eye contact, starting a conversation with a stranger, being the centre of attention, giving and receiving feedback are just a few examples. The way out of this trap is to just ask yourself, "When did it become uncomfortable to ...?" or "Who says it is awkward to ..." Following social conventions and cultural norms can be accomplished without any accompanying sense of discomfort or resistance.

Fortunately, the way to peace and comfort is always open and available to us. It requires nothing more than to K.N.O.W. our resistances (Elisha Goldstein's (Ph.D) mnemonic) and is as close as our breath.

1. Know that resistance is an inevitable aspect of the human condition
2. Notice with awareness how it affects the way you feel and act
3. Open to its expression as thoughts and physical sensations
4. Welcome it and let it go just as you let air go out with your exhale

As we become aware of our resistances and are willing to embrace them, own them and let them go, we transcend the self-imposed boundaries of our comfort zone. While this may sound as a gradual process, the reality is that the capacity for non-judgmental awareness is always present and continuously available. The ability to let go is not a skill but a trait - if you have ever fallen asleep, you already know what to "surrender resistance" is.
Aesop's fable about the Oak and the Reed teaches us that it is better to bend than to break.
Similarly, as we let go of resistance the boundaries of our "comfort zone" dissipate into spacious openness. This allows us to embrace life's experiences just as they are and be fully present for the unfolding of our life.
Instead of "pushing" ourselves "out of our comfort zone", let us just expand its boundaries making it all-encompassing.