When it comes to desires, the bottom line is this ...
The wise person neither runs after desires nor depends on their absence to be at ease.
We are constantly bombarded by 'desire creators'. Ads from media, 'new normals' from social media, expectations from society, friends and family ... All these can influence what we think we desire and what we call happiness.
The exposure itself is not a problem. Difficulties arise when these suggestions are internalised and taken to be 'my' desires or wants. It gets uncomfortable if chasing after desires degrades our happiness here and now.
Media fasting and regular retreats into solitude can help us shake off the desires we've picked unconsciously.
Furthermore, maturity brings healthy non-attachment. This is the ability to express one's creative spark in life without needing or being driven by any desires whatsoever. We can also reach the stage where we are free from the pull of desires right in the midst of them. Engaging in these activities and reaching that level of maturity requires determination. With consistency and patience, we can progress.
In the meantime, we can start right where we are. We can shine the light of awareness on desires. We can be pro-active in defining and shaping our own desires. We can transcend the pull around of influences of programming. We can direct our lives towards things which we, personally consider meaningful.
Ask yourself the following questions:
What are the circumstances and/or things (desires) that you believe will make you happy?
Why do believe that those will create happiness?
Are any of the above driven by society, friends, or upbringing? If yes, which ones?
Are your TRUE desires different than the above? If so, what are they?
Live a life true to what YOU want starting today. Choose to harness the power of your own thoughts. Master your super power.
useful background: The value of happiness
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Martin Stefanov Petkov