What happens when your purpose and relationships clash

Are you more of a masculine or a feminine energetic archetype? Do you prioritise your life purpose or relationships? What if they are in conflict? Find out more....

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Intro

​If your life purpose and the most meaningful relationship in your life conflicted, which one are you going to chose?

Disclaimer

 If you are looking for political correctness, you are in the wrong place. I say things as I see them and don't stress about every single word I use so as not to offend somebody. I cause ambivalent reactions in people and am OK with this. I own who I am and my views and let the natural filters of attraction to do the job of bringing me together with the right people.  

Before anyone jumps the gun and accuses me of sexism, I'd like to clarify that when I talk about feminine and masculine I'm referring to primordial psycho-, physical-, spiritual- energetic archetypes. This is not as simple as females are feminine, males are masculine. There are women with far more powerful masculine energy and commitment to their life's purpose than men. There are also men, who thrive on being the pillar of harmony and love in their household. 

The rest of the story will be based on the following assumption... Longing towards living and embodying one's purpose and calling is considered a masculine trait. Nurturing and sustaining the flow of love and harmony through relationships is considered a feminine trait. If this doesn't resonate with you, now is a good time to quit, if not, keep reading...

Also, please realise, that I'm seeing this as a continuum with 100% feminine on one side and 100% masculine on the other. In my conception, at any particular time, a person would lie somewhere along this spectrum. This position is very contextual and changeable. It can change in different relationships based on the dynamics. It can vary during a person's lifetime. It can even change with your day-to-day mood, the amount of sleep you've had and your diet. But by and large, there is a natural position for YOU on this spectrum, which is your sweet spot and you tend to gravitate towards. 

It all started with an insightful conversation...

Yesterday, I had an insightful conversation with a friend of mine about finding balance. In particular, finding the sweet spot between striving to accomplish your goals and enjoying meaningful long-term loving relationships. 

First of all, we were working on establishing where each of us sees themselves on the purpose-relationships spectrum. We were also discussing our willingness to make compromises and whether they are even necessary... Most importantly, we were contemplating how one can manage and sustain a long-term romantic relationships, if one is overly focused on their purpose and calling, like me ad my friend. 

The solution...

It is all about harmony. When the mind sees an apparent conflict between this and that it is usually just a limitation in thinking and perception. 

As our discussion evolved, we started clarifying the importance of alignment between the partners. Alignment may not be as crucial if one of the partners is very accommodating and willing to compromise to maintain the relationship.  However, if both people exhibit a high degree of commitment to their life's path, then alignment is critical. 

What I'm talking about is a high degree of similarity and compatibility between the two person's belief systems, world views, values, and direction in life. Similar interests and activities are also important but not as critical as the things that define a person on a deeper level. Solid alignment in this profound dimension of the relationship is going to increase the likelihood of finding a constructive way forward when a conflict arises. 

Going forward...

Move away from 'either/or' type of segregated thinking in this domain. Consider and apply ways of integrating your life's purpose and loving enjoyable relationships...

For some people this comes naturally and they live in harmony with themselves, their calling and their partner over a lifetime. For others, it is more challenging and it doesn't always work, as evidenced by the high divorce rates. 

Be willing to make compromises on a practical level to make things work. Where we have lunch or which ora we take to the restaurant is not something worth asserting one's sense of identity over. 

At the same, time I recommend not to compromise your dreams, aspirations or alter who you are in the name of a relationship. If you do this, you'd lose self-esteem and start feeling conscious or unconscious dissatisfaction with the relationship. Your partner would likely sense that you are selling yourself short and will lose attraction and their confidence in you...

Conclusion

Keep these reflections in mind when considering how to balance your purpose and relationships. Seek first and foremost alignment and compatibility with your partner. Be willing to adapt for the everyday things and have the courage to stay true to who you are and what you stand for on a deep level. 

Thanks for watching/reading. For a deeper discussion or to work together, please feel free to drop me a line on: youaremore@martinpetkov.com 

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